In football, I'll always have the 'Skins. In baseball, I've got no choice but to support the Nats. College athletics are for suckers and lame-o's. But NBA fandom is blessedly fluid. Every Thursday, I'll rank the top 5 teams I look forward to watching on League Pass, and why.
Since there aren't always great changes in my LP Power Ranking from week to week, and since I can't think of new stuff to say about the Blazers, Hawks, and Bobcats every week, I figured this week I'd make a brief departure and give my bottom 5 teams that I least look forward to watching, and why.
26. Detroit Pistons
As recently as the start of this season, these guys were definite candidates for the top 5. Rasheed is still (nominally) my favorite player in the league, although Rondo and Odom are nipping at his heels. McDyess has been a solid, if unspectacular, addition to the Black Prez; and I've been down with Rip since his Wiz-kids days. But damn, does this team play some ugly, uninspired ball. I try to watch, I really do. But 'Sheed is clearly on his last legs of usefulness before he becomes the greatest commentator of all time, and Michael Curry is just doing an atrocious job of coaching these guys. I don't think the Chauncey-for-AI trade is entirely to blame, but at the same time, I haven't been entertained by these guys since it happened.
27. New Jersey Nets
One of the many benefits of living in the NYC area is that we've got two local sports teams in every sport, and in general every local game appears in HD. The Knicks and Nets both have their own channel, meaning that I have the oppportunity to watch some high-def basketball on a nearly nightly basis. But that hasn't brought me any closer to watching any Nets games this year. Part of this is institutional: there isn't a worse name and uniform in the league than the Nets. Seriously, Nets? That's the best you can come up with? It's not even the best part of the basket: how much cooler would the Jersey Hoops be? And the color scheme: say what you will about the Wizards' ridiculous gold lame' outfits, at least they're trying to show some excitement. The predominant color in the Nets unis is boring-ass gray. Beyond these lame franchise traits, the Nets themselves are just entirely uninteresting to me. Devin Harris is a seriously legit scorer (and if you didn't see that half-court buzzer-beater, for god's sake check it out), but he's got the kind of silky-smooth, powerless game that bores me to tears. Vince Carter is having a great season, but he set the bar so high for himself early in his career that no one will ever love him again. And beyond that, I'm not sure I can even name a player besides Yi Jianlian, who would be of absolutely no interest, and maybe not even in the league, if he wasn't Chinese. I give props to Lopez, and if they ever pull of the move to Brooklyn I'll love them eternally, but until then I fucking hate the Nets.
28. Chicago Bulls
Pretty shortly after I reached the age of being able to make decisions for myself, I started hating Jordan and his inescapable dominance. By extension, I detested the Bulls (minus Pippen), and that feeling never really went away. On top of that, Chi-Town has featured a revolving door of shitty, personality-less players ever since. I thought that with the drafting of Derrick Rose, I might start to have some love for the Windy City again, but I was really disappointed with his joyless performance on All-Star weekend, proving that even the coolest of young ballers can be ruined by living in the same city as Dekker.
29. Dallas Mavericks
I'm not sure what happened here. I used to love these guys, and last year when I had Josh Howard on my fantasy squad, I watched them whenever possible. But this year I just fucking can't get psyched about them at all. I love the NBA for its players, and the stories and narratives that get built up around them, even when they are totally creations of the fans (or just me) and have no real relation to their actual selves. A few years ago, the Dirk Nowitzki story was one of my favorites, but somehow it seems like the story ended in those Finals they lost to the Heat, and yet he keeps playing. Dirk: the story's over, dude. Close the book and go to bed.
Oh, also, Jason Kidd is a fucking piece of shit.
30. Milwaukee Bucks
There is never, ever, any good reason to watch the Milwaukee Bucks. Ever.
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ReplyDeleteNo love for Dallas and the Bucks? Dallas is still kind of fun to watch; when I went to a game earlier in the year, I had a great time watching them. Dirk is just pussyfooted dirk, and Kidd beats his wife. But Jason Terry was fun to watch, and JJ Barea was entertaining too (if only because he looks 12 compared to Dampier).
ReplyDeleteAnd the Bucks at 30? What about the browless wonder that is Charlie V? You should want to watch if only to see his freakishly hairless face.
I hate the Nets as well but you can't deny that they have had some dope names:
ReplyDeleteLucious Harris
Benoit Benjamin
Drazen Petrovic
Kerry Kittles
I also think they made a huge mistake in not passing on "The Swamp Dragons"
"The team's image was so poor that in an effort to shed its losing image, management considered renaming the team "Swamp Dragons" or the "Fire Dragons" in 1994, but rejected the idea. In both the 1994–95 and 1995–96 seasons, the Nets finished with identical 30—52 records."
"The team was originally known as the New York Americans, and Brown intended for it to play at the 69th Regiment Armory on Manhattan's east side, but pressure from the New York Knicks forced the Armory to back out three months before opening day."
The first name was even better but I suppose that wouldn't work well once they started signing players like Petrovic, Krstic and Todd MacCulloch.
*Finally, Lee Melchionni's uncle's jersey is retired in The IZOD Center