Week 19 in Review: Game Re-Caps

What you missed if you were only paying attention to your own game, you selfish prick.

Before I dive in I wanted to announce a few changes to the Faculty. Firstly, you'll notice that there's a "Recent Moves" column off to the right. Rather than providing a weekly wrap-up, I'll try to post moves as they happen (imagine Jack Bauer screaming "I need that information in real time!"), so that you can get the freshest version of my opinion on why they are stupid/pointless. Also, one of our regulars has inquired about writing a guest blog, and I would like to widely announce that that is more than welcome. The point of this is to be a league site, and while I like to post my own bullshit, I'd also love to make this a repository of all the different kinds of bullshit we're able to come up with in this group. Please remember to include something to the effect of "This is nowhere near as good as Sovic's stuff" in the Comments section, though, to protect my oh-so-fragile ego. Anyways, if you want to submit something, just send it to me in an e-mail or attached to an e-mail and I will get it formatted into the blog.

Now onto some Game Re-Caps:

Fire Al Groh 5 (ft%/3pm/pts/reb/blk)
Fear the Turtle 3 (fg%/ast/stl)
What an appropriate week for these two teams to play, and what an appropriate outcome. The Hoos' victory over the Terps likely ended their chances at an NCAA berth, while FAG's defeat of the Turtle probably drove the final nail in the coffin of any playoff hopes for Dev. The epitaph on that playoff gravestone (extended metaphor!) may very well want to mention the early-week injury to Caron Butler, who ended up playing only one game in Week 19. CaBron did nearly contribute an Octuplet in his return, but even Tony Parker's big week (112 pts, 30 ast, 60% fgp and 96% ftp) couldn't overcome those three missed games. Bardey's boys had a number of well-rounded performances, most notably Mo Williams' 15 threes, 100 points, 17 boards and 15 assists. They also garnered a rare win in free throw percentage, owing to strong weeks by Williams, Vince Carter, Nate Robinson, and Josh Howard, and a not-awful week by Dwight Howard.

The Browless Wonders 7 (everything but blk)
Black Ice 1 (blk)
There's never all that much to say about these match-ups with Black Ice. Once again he had an 0-fer in the line-up, but Luol Deng didn't miss a game until after the week had started, so I'm not sure we can blame him. Let's focus on the positives for the Wonders: neither Chris Paul nor Jason Terry missed a free throw; Delonte West had a league-leading 13 steals on the strength of an 8-steal game; and Charlie V and Luis Scola both averaged double-doubles in scoring and boarding. If only Will had some big men he might have had a clean sweep by winning blocks. What's that you say? Charlie Villanueva, David West, Luis Scola, and Marcus Camby are all big men who should be able to get some blocks? Well maybe Will should think about getting some big guys who are interested in playing defense, or don't have migraine headaches that keep them out for weeks at a time.

Kill Whitey 4 (ft%/3pm/ast/blk)
Black Prezodents 3 (fg%/pts/reb)
Here's what I wrote on Sunday evening as this match-up was winding down: "So far this season, the Black Prezodents are tops in the league in steals, averaging almost 35 a week. Kill Whitey, on the other hand, is last in the league averaging a mere 13. And yet, as of this writing (sunday, 7:10), the two teams are separated by only one steal." That was me, up by a steal, and I thought it was a secure margin with JR Smith yet to play for me and Chris Anderson yet to play for Dekker. I was wrong; motherfucker tied me in steals. I think my Luck Factor has dipped by at least 1. Then again, I absolutely suck at field goal percentage, but Dekker's Whiteys were worst in the league this week, so maybe, as I suggested, it all balances out. Of note in the win was Steve Nash, who averaged 25 pts and 11 ast and shot 55%/88%.

Great Oden's Raven 5 (3pm/pts/reb/ast/stl)
Working's fo Suckers 3 (fg%/ft%/blk)
I don't normally proclaim a "Game of the Week" or anything, but if I did this would have been it. Of these two teams' 16 stat performances, 10 were in the top 3 in the league, including several in which they duked it out in the same category: Oden #1 and Suckers #2 in assists; Suckers #1 and Oden #2 in free throw percentage; Oden #2 and Suckers #3 in steals. Ultimately, though, Oden gained the slight edge in a few of those squeakers and continued their dominance of a select group of categories. This game also featured some drama, in that these two teams had recently made a big trade, and three of those players were in the starting line-ups. Only Jesse's acquisitions, however, had much to contribute, as Andris Biedrins apparently is not entirely over his injury. Randy Foye also missed some time, but Marc Gasol chipped in 11 blocks to lead the Suckers to victory in that category.

Snap Jelly Soldiers 6 (3pm/pts/reb/ast/stl/blk)
Screen Team 2 (fg%/ft%)
Screen Team is suffering right now from two teams' willingness to sit their stars, albeit for different reasons: the Celtics are a lock for the playoffs, and can afford to give their defensive centerpiece, Kevin Garnett, as much time as he needs to recover; and the Thunder are a lock for the lottery, and can't risk bringing the future of the franchise, Kevin Durant, back too soon. Fortunately, Screen Team is nearly a lock for the playoffs as well, so they can afford the spanking they took at the hands of Snap Jelly. Steffens' team has had a few off-weeks, but they were back in business to start March, leading the league in rebounds and blocks by considerable margins. As always, Snap Jelly was led by LeBron, who's really been stepping up his outside game lately (12 threes), and were helped along by solid all-around stats from top to bottom of the line-up.

Professor Dribbles 5 (fg%/pts/reb/ast/blk)
Dominique Moceanu 3 (ft%/3pm/stl)
If I bothered to name a Game of the Week, I suppose I can go ahead and name this Non-Game of the Week. Only two performances in this match-up--Dribbles' field goal percentage and Moceanu's threes--were in the top quarter of the league. Dribbles did secure the victory, but it should be noted that two of Billy's starters (Jeff Green and Allen Iverson) did not play a minute. Green's injury means that Billy very nearly acquired Baron Davis, Rasheed Wallace, and Michael Beasley in exchange for absolutely nothing a few weeks ago, so once again I have to applaud and thank him for his honest business dealing. Dekker may disagree.

The Best & Worst of Week 19:
FG%: Screen Team .508, Kill Whitey .451
FT%: Working's fo Suckers .856, Professor Dribbles .765
3PM: Fire Al Groh 49, Fear the Turtle 12
Pts: Great Oden's Raven 633, Black Ice 324
Reb: Snap Jelly Soldiers 242, Dominique Moceanu 125
Ast: Great Oden's Raven 154, Fire Al Groh 69
Stl: The Browless Wonders 47, Black Ice 21
Blk: Snap Jelly Soldiers 40, Dominique Moceanu 9

We're less than two weeks from the start of the play-offs, so this is the last chance for teams like Kill Whitey, Professor Dribbles, and Fear the Turtle to make their move. Here's who's battling in Week 20:
Black Prezodents vs. Great Oden's Raven
The Browless Wonders vs. Kill Whitey
Fear the Turtle vs. Black Ice
Professor Dribbles vs. Fire Al Groh
Snap Jelly Soldiers vs. Dominique Moceanu
Working's fo Suckers vs. Screen Team

Good luck to all except for Bernier, porque el presidente no es mas que una marioneta.