Week 17 in Review: Game Re-Caps

Last week we saw the faces of many NBA franchises made over by a bevy of trades, which in turn changed the complexion of many Cluj rosters and sent active owners scampering for newly valuable talent. I just had the chance to watch two of those teams, the Bulls (now without John Salmons and Tyrus Thomas) and the Wizards (who lost just about every player you could have previously named on the Wizards). Amazingly, the losses of Antawn Jamison, Caron Butler, Brendan Haywood and DeShawn Stevenson, as well as the suspensions of Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton, seem to have energized a team that, on paper, has probably the worst roster in the NBA at this point. After beating the Bulls tonight, the Wiz kids have won three of four since the All-Star break. And while I harbor no illusions about Washington actually becoming a contender or anything this season, there is at least reason to believe that watching the team during the remainder of the year may be fun again. Will the impending Cluj trade deadline (March 4th) re-energize any of our teams in a similar way? I hope to start finding out soon. While I wait, though, I'll entertain myself by examing last week's games in thorough detail. Here's Week 17:



Unfrozen Caveman Bogut 4 (FG%, PTS, AST, ST)
WWTMD 3 (FT%, 3PM, BLK)
Well this was certainly exciting. As late as Sunday evening, this game was rocketing back and forth from 6-2 to 4-4 to 5-3. Finally, as the week ground down to a close, Will got some help from an old friend in a new uniform. With the Utah-Portland game stretching into overtime, Marcus Camby notched four blocks, securing a win in that category, and with his 18th rebound the newest Blazer snuck WWTMD into a tie with UCB, bringing the final to 4-3-1. That's still a victory for Beb, and a loss for Will, but somehow it feels the other way around. The amazing thing is that that tied rebound total would have beaten every other team in the league, and Beb's numbers in field goal percentage, threes, points, assists, and steals were all among the top two in the league in Week 17. Jason Kidd himself led the league in threes (12) and steals (15). And Luis Scola (37 boards), David Lee (77 points, 34 boards, .569 shooting) and LeBron James (a lot of good numbers) all contributed to what would have been a dominant performance, if not for WWTMD's Kevin Love (5 threes, 48 rebounds), Chauncey Billups (7 threes, perfect from the line), Danny Granger (.909 from the stripe, 8 threes, 4 blocks), and the incomparable Roy Hibbert (12 blocks).

Call em Bullets 8 (everything)
Power Bottom & Jelly 0 (nothing)
So there are close games like the Austin shootout, and then there are games like this one. They say that defense wins championships, and Doit excelled in the defensive categories in the week that saw him take over first place. CeB led the league in steals and blocks, thanks to outstanding efforts from Rajon Rondo (13 steals), Josh Smith (9 steals, 6 blocks), and - especially - newcomer Tyrus Thomas (6 steals, 14 blocks). The Call ems were slightly less impressive in the other categories, but it hardly mattered. PB & J finished last in field goal percentage this week. They also finished last in free throw percentage. In three-pointers made? Last. They scored less points than anyone else, too. Their 25 steals were less than half of Bardey's total (54), which represented the lowest total in the league. But in blocks? They were fourth. Good job, Emeka Okafor (10).

Bronxville BitchSmackers 5 (3PM, PTS, REB, AST, ST)
Noah's Ark 3 (FG%, FT%, BLK)
A 3-5 loss might not seem like a big deal, but it completes a three-week skid in which Noah's Ark is 6-18 and possibly ready to push the panic button. Fortunately for Jon, the heavy hitters he's been missing (Joakim Noah and Brandon Roy) are finally back to playing, but in Week 17 they offered him a combined 1 point and 2 rebounds. Fortunately, he had Brook Lopez and Gerald Wallace (.667 and .543 FG%s) and Stephen Curry and Jamal Crawford (1.000 and .909 FT%s) leading him to percentage victories and the best free-throw shooting in the league. The Noah's Ark block total was low, but it was enough to top Steffens, whose 19 were by far the least in the league among owners paying attention to their teams. The BitchSmackers were not really exceptional in any one category (their best totals league-wise were fourth in 3PM and Steals), but with a balanced attack had enough to overcome DeYoung in five of the volume cats. Leading the way was Derrick Rose, with 92 points and 23 assists. Tim Duncan (45), Kenyon Martin (36) and Kevin Garnett (29) comprise a strong rebounding frontcourt, despite a combined age of 143, and Robin Lopez chipped in 58 points, 28 rebounds and 3 blocks, none of which would be a huge deal if he weren't stealing minutes from Noah's once-Big Swinging Dick Channing Frye (26 points, 17 boards, 0 threes).

Black Prezodents 6 (FG%, PTS, REB, AST, ST, BLK)
Cowboys 2 (FT%, 3PM)
Is there really a point to writing a summary here? I know what happened, and my opponent is surely not reading. I will note that even with what turned out to be a 40-28 games played advantage, I still got trounced in threes, which is kind of embarrassing. Still hit 5 more than Billy's team, though. Notable for the winning team: another week topping the league in points, thanks to Rudy Gay (94), Kevin Durant (93), Stephen Jackson (77) and Michael Beasley (70). Also, big-ups to the Beazer for stepping up his all-around game lately (6 steals, 5 blocks).

Corn Rows n Tats 6 (FT%, 3PM, PTS, REB, AST, ST)
Teen Wolf 2 (FG%, BLK)
While Dekker was busy matching me by shitting the bed in threes, Elliot's boys were lighting it up there thanks to the league-leading Trevor Ariza (12), re-surgent Peja Stojakovic (7), and surprisingly versatile Carlos Delfino (6). The Rows were equally effective in assists, featuring an amazing 48 by Deron Williams (including 12 in that frustrating Sunday-night defeat of the Blazers). As for Dekker, he was dominant in the categories he won (1st league-wide in in FG% and 2nd in BLKs), but pretty lousy in everything else. In both of those winning cats he was led, unsurprisingly, by Dwight Howard (.580, 16 swats), but the Wolves need someone else to step up if they expect to win more than a few categories each week. Then again, they may not expect to win. After all, the team is named Teen Wolf after bearded wonder James Harden (also the team's logo), and he is not even on the squad any more. Does this mean that Dekker has given up on the season? I hope not.

This week's Highs and Lows are dedicated to the Russian Curling Team, who've been brightening my days for the past week.
Field Goal Percentage: .483, Teen Wolf; .427, Power Bottom & Jelly
Free Throw Percentage: .810, Noah's Ark; .672, Power Bottom & Jelly
3-Pointers Made: 45, WWTMD; 18, Power Bottom & Jelly
Points: 773, Black Prezodents; 454, Power Bottom & Jelly
Rebounds: 291, WWTMD & Unfrozen Caveman Bogut; 163, Cowboys
Assists: 180, Unfrozen Caveman Bogut; 89, Cowboys
Steals: 54, Call em Bullets; 25, Power Bottom & Jelly
Blocks: 42, Call em Bullets; 18, Cowboys

Good luck to everyone in Week 18, except for Beb. I heard that Andrew Bogut hates aborigines. Come on, Bogut. It's 2010.