Tuesday Morning Dump

A quick daily look at last night's highs and lows.

Hot Shit: Anthony Tolliver, Unfrozen Caveman Bogut
.571 - .778 - 2 - 25 - 12 - 5 - 3 - 2
Originally this was my Shart for the day, but when you're one missed free throw away from a Super-Duper Octuplet, you're Hot Shit.

Loose Stool: Yi Jianlian, WWTMD
.250 - NA - 0 - 4 - 5 - 0 - 0 - 0
We've been talking about instituting a weekly Games or Transactions limit for next year's playoffs, but I've got a different idea. Just as Yahoo has an "Undroppable" list, we should create an "Unaddable" list of guys who have no business being on a fantasy roster unless they are some kind of last-minute, "I could use an extra player tonight" add. Yi Jianlian belongs on this list. 

Shart: Mehmet Okur, Noah's Ark
.500 - NA - 4 - 14 - 15 - 2 - 3 - 3
Another guy who was one cat away from a Super-Duper last night, I had to include him here. But the real Shart of the night was...

Chris Paul, WWTMD
.444 - NA - 3 - 11 - 0 - 3 - 1 - 0
You've got to be kidding me. He's playing?!? What the hell for?!? You're 8 1/2 games out of the last playoff spot! Collison and Thornton were doing fine! What makes it even worse is...


Hershey Squirts:
Brandon Jennings, Power Bottom & Jelly
.125 - NA - 0 - 2 - 0 - 1 - 0 - 0
Oh man, I must have picked on the fantasy gods in elementary school or something, because they are coming back at me with a vengeance. The day after Will upsets me in the first round, the injured superstar I loudly mocked him for acquiring starts playing again, and the guy he traded away for him just lays an absolute stinker. Look, gods of fantasy, I'm sorry I tree-topped you out of the four-square game or did that thing where I stepped on the back of your shoe when we were walking single-file to the cafeteria or whatever, but I'm getting fucked in all the other aspects of my life right now. I don't need it happening in this one, too!

OJ Mayo, Cowboys
.368 - 1.000 - 3 - 20 - 7 - 2 - 4 - 0

Anthony Morrow, Power Bottom & Jelly
.250 - NA - 1 - 3 - 0 - 0 - 1 - 1
The man of a thousand teams just realized that he's stuck on one that's out of the playoffs.

Derrick Rose, Bronxville BitchSmackers
.545 - .250 - 2 - 27 - 7 - 8 - 0 - 1

Charts & Figgers

The Cluj regular season has come to an end, and I'm sure all our attention is turned to the fantasy playoffs and the reality March Madness. But there is still a bit of unfinished business to attend to before we leave the regular season behind: I speak, of course, of Octuplets. When last we checked in, LeBron James held a slight lead over Kevin Durant for the title of the league's best Octupler, but he also had a slight games advantage. Would Durant use those extra games to close the gap? Would LeBron continue the torrid pace he set in February? The answer can only come... after the jump.

Thursday Morning Dump

A quick daily look at the highs and lows from last night's games.

I've been lazy about this the past few days, but ready to dive back in here with the first Dump of the playoffs. Last year, Will suggested that I choose from exclusively the playoff teams. That didn't feel right in spirit to me, but at the same time the playoff teams are pretty much the only folks who ever read this blog, and that is certainly true now that the chaff has been separated from the wheat here in the post-season. So this year I'll be selecting the Hot Shit, Loose Stool, and Shart from the contenders, but mentioning other noteworthy lines as well.

Hot Shit: David West, Black Prezodents
.538 - 1.000 - 0 - 36 - 15 - 5 - 1 - 0

Loose Stool: Marvin Williams, Noah's Ark
.100 - NA - 0 - 2 - 4 - 0 - 0 - 1

Shart: Jrue Holiday, Teen Wolf
.727 - .667 - 1 - 19 - 7 - 7 - 2 - 0

Hershey Squirts
Monta Ellis, Corn Rows n Tats
.435 - 1.000 - 2 - 28 - 3 - 13 - 4 - 0

Jason Kidd, Unfrozen Caveman Bogut
.000 - NA - 0 - 0 - 2 - 4 - 0 - 0
This line made me think "Damn I wish I was playing Beb this week" until I saw LeBron's line. And Lee's. And Bogut's.

Troy Murphy, Power Bottom & Jelly
.429 - .750 - 4 - 19 - 15 - 5 - 2 - 0
If you think I'm not going to publish every semi-decent Murphy or Jennings line over the next three weeks, well... you just don't know me.



Later today: Final results of the regular season Octuplet Race.

Monday Morning Dump

A quick daily look at last night's highs and lows.

The last Morning Dump of the regular season. Later Corn Rows, Bronxville, Cowboys and Power Bottom. Your teams must have really sucked.

Hot Shit: Tyreke Evans, Unfrozen Caveman Bogut
.526 - 1.000 - 2 - 29 - 9 - 11 - 2 - 0
The runner-up here was LeBron, who is also on UCB. And yet they managed to lose their hold on the regular season title yesterday. What the fuck, the rest of UCB?!?

Loose Stool: Beno Udrih, Cowboys
.125 - NA - 0 - 2 - 1 - 1 - 1 - 0
Really happy to give this to Dev in his last real game of the season.

Shart: Russell Westbrook, Black Prezodents
.750 - .545 - 0 - 30 - 3 - 11 - 1 - 1
We're ready to Shart all the way to the title, baby. Look out!

Friday Morning Green Apple Splatters

A quick daily look at last night's highs and lows.

Hot Shit: I'm contemplating two: 
Andrey Blatche, Call em Bullets (he's getting boring because he's been so awesomely consistent)
.632 - 1.000 - 0 - 30 - 10 - 1 - 3 - 0
OR
Brandon Roy, Noah's Ark (why no 3's?  With some 3's, I think the hot shit is his...)
.636 - .765 - 0 - 41 - 8 - 3 - 2 - 1

Loose Stool: James Singleton, Unfrozen Caveman Bogut (no question.  he's the crappiest from last night)
.000 - NA - 0 - 0 - 7 - 1 - 0 - 0

Shart: Also contemplating two...
Anthony Tolliver, Unfrozen Caveman Bogut  (nice pickup)
.444 - 1.000 - 2 - 14 - 11 - 1 - 0 - 1
OR
Corey Maggette, WWTMD (he's healthy?)
.533 - .889 - 0 - 24 - 5 - 6 - 1 - 0

Thursday Morning Dump

A quick daily look at last night's highs and lows.

Hot Shit: Jason Kidd, Unfrozen Caveman Bogut
.462 - .750 - 5 - 20 - 4 - 9 - 4 - 1

Loose Stool: Kendrick Perkins, Corn Rows n Tats
.500 - .000 - 0 - 4 - 6 - 0 - 0 - 0

Shart: Rasual Butler, Corn Rows n Tats
.632 - 1.000 - 6 - 31 - 2 - 2 - 1 - 0
Casual Rasual lightin' it up these days!

Wednesday Morning Dump

A quick daily look at last night's highs and lows.

Hot Shit: Deron Williams, Corn Rows n Tats
.733 - .750 - 3 - 28 - 1 - 17 - 0 - 0

Loose Stool: Taj Gibson, WWTMD
NA - NA - 0 - 0 - 1 - 0 - 0 - 0
Did this dude get injured or something? I can't find any news. But he played twelve minutes, which is more than enough time for more than one rebound.

Shart: Jarrett Jack, Teen Wolf
.500 - 1.000 - 2 - 18 - 7 - 7 - 3 - 1
Not a guy I ever thought would make the Octuplet Register.

Dev Batta Memorial Piece of Shit Award: Brandon Roy, Noah's Ark
.500 - .429 - 0 - 19 - 8 - 3 - 2 - 0
And here I thought this award was retired for the year. Leave it to DeYoung...


Also please note that Week 19 in Review has been posted below.