After finishing that, I decided to take this a step further and figure out which region could put together the best team. This meant a bit more effort, as it took looking up where each player was born, and then a bit more effort as I realized that where you're born is not always necessarily where you're "from." For example, Paul Pierce was born in Oakland, California, but is far more often associated with Los Angeles. If there were differences between where a player was born and where they went to high school, I tried to do a little research and determine where they would say they "grew up." Going to Oak Hill Academy does not make you a Virginian (unfortunately). Some players, I decided, didn't have a sufficient enough affiliation with any part of the country or world to make a squad: sorry, Kobe Bryant. That's what you get for being so fucking sophisticated and international.
Anyways, listed below are the teams, with reserves listed where appropriate:
Metrostars
New York & New Jersey
PG: Rafer Alston, Ben Gordon
SG: Ron Artest, JR Smith
SF: Lamar Odom, Charlie Villanueva
PF: David West, Troy Murphy
C: Andrew Bynum, Elton Brand
I would have liked to have put together an all-NYC roster, but decided that allowing a little regional variety was better than having to include Stephon Marbury and Bassy Telfair. Overall, this might be the most realistic of the regional teams, in that I could imagine an NBA GM managing to put these guys together. That said, most of the other teams are like All-Star squads, so it doesn't bode well for the success of the Metrostars.
Coffee & Rain
The Pacific Northwest (Washington, Oregon, Northern California)
PG: Jason Kidd, Nate Robinson
SG: Brandon Roy, Jason Terry
SF: Marvin Williams, Bruce Bowen
PF: Kevin Love
C: Spencer Hawes
I was pretty surprised at the level of talent coming out of a region not traditionally associated with basketball. Seattle alone boasts Robinson, Roy, Terry, Hawes, and Rodney Stuckey. Still, not a lot of big men coming out of this area, and though Love and Hawes are young and promising, Coffee & Rain will require some frontcourt help before they can compete.
Corn-Fed
The Midwest (Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri)
PG: Devin Harris, Derrick Rose
SG: Dwyane Wade, Eric Gordon
SF: Andre Iguodala, Caron Butler
PF: Zach Randolph, David Lee
C: Brad Miller, Greg Oden
A large region, and the first that I'd call a contender. Like Coffee & Rain, the frontcourt has some weakness, and their inside success will depend on the development of Oden. Corn-Fed has four fantastic guards, though, (five if you include Caron) and one of the best players in the game in Dwyane Wade.
DMV
DC, Maryland, Virginia
PG: Allen Iverson
SG: Kevin Durant, Jeff Green
SF: Rudy Gay, Grant Hill
PF: Carmelo Anthony, Michael Beasley
C: Roy Hibbert
I could have made a Mid-Atlantic region, or included Virginia in the Atlantic South, but I thought maybe we could hold our own as a region. Depth is obviously an issue here, as is the fact that Durant, Green, Gay, Hill, and 'Melo are all essentially small forwards. Still, the swagger on this squad is phenomenal, and the idea of AI and Grant Hill (the anti-Iverson) as veteran co-leaders makes me laugh.
Country South
Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas
PG: Rajon Rondo, Mo Williams
SG: Joe Johnson, Monta Ellis
SF: Danny Granger, Shawn Marion
PF: Gerald Wallace, Paul Millsap
C: Al Jefferson, Ben Wallace
Perhaps not surprisingly, this is probably my favorite squad. With the exception of Al Jefferson, all of the starters are either Black Prezodents or would-be BPs. This is also a flexible team, able to bring defensive specialists and pure scorers off the bench. This being the Country South, they're also mostly humble dudes, so no problems with superstars co-existing here.
Atlantic South
North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida
PG: Chris Paul, Raymond Felton
SG: Vince Carter, Josh Howard
SF: Tracy McGrady, Josh Smith
PF: Kevin Garnett, Antawn Jamison
C: Dwight Howard, Amare' Stoudemire
This is my pick for the winner. Lots of ACC representation, fitting the region, and lots of damn good basketball. Paul/Garnett/Howard alone is probably enough to win it all for them, even if Carter's motivational issues or McGrady's injury issues become a factor. A Garnett-Howard frontcourt pair could probably keep almost anybody from scoring points in the paint.
Born Commies
The former Eastern Bloc
PG: Beno Udrih
SG: Sasha Vujacic
SF: Peja Stojakovic
PF: Andrei Kirilenko
C: Zydrunas Ilgauskas
Not really a serious contender, but fun to say all these names together nonetheless.
Rust Belt
Pennsylvania, Delaware, Ohio, West Virginia
PG: OJ Mayo
SG: Michael Redd, Rip Hamilton
SF: John Salmons, James Posey
PF: LeBron James, Hakim Warrick
C: Rasheed Wallace
Thanks God the Rust Belt is shit for b-ball, so that LeBron has a challenge. Luckily, his presence at point-forward can cover up this team's lack of a ball distributor. Still, small size and poor depth make this like the Cavaliers of a few years ago: All LeBron, into the Playoffs but out early.
Fallen Empires
Spain, France, Germany
PG: Tony Parker, Jose Calderon
SG: Rudy Fernandez
SF: Dirk Nowitzki, Nicolas Batum
PF: Boris Diaw, Ronny Turiaf
C: Pau Gasol, Marc Gasol
This team can definitely hold its own, and has good size up front with Dirk at the 3. The only thing that keeps them out of title contention for me is a lack of depth.
SoCal
Basically L.A.
PG: Baron Davis, Andre Miller
SG: Gilbert Arenas
SF: Paul Pierce, Tayshaun Prince
PF: Tyson Chandler
C: Brook Lopez
I thought about adding the Desert (Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Colorado) into this region, but it ended up not really doing much to help the team and eliminated their claim to the title of highest talent-to-area ratio. Truly amazing that this team is all from within probably 30 miles of each other, but they, like other teams are hampered by a relatively weak inside tandem of Chandler and Lopez. If Brook continues to grow, though, this is a solid team a few years down the road.
Conmebol
Brazil and Argentina
PG: Leandro Barbosa
SG: Manu Ginobili
SF: Andres Nocioni
PF: Luis Scola, Anderson Varejao
C: Nene
Easily the most dramatic team in the tournament, guaranteeing moments of potentially all five starters flopping to the floor.
Lone Star
Texas
PG: Deron Williams, TJ Ford
SG: Stephen Jackson, Boobie Gibson
SF: Rashard Lewis, Anthony Randolph
PF: Chris Bosh
C: Shaquille O'Neal, Emeka Okafor
Our Cluj final match-up was all-Austin, and I suspect the regional final could involve some Texans as well. This is a solid squad from top to bottom, and with Bosh/O'Neal/Okafor, has what a lot of other teams lack: size. These guys squaring off against Howard/Stoudemire/Garnett in the final would be a treat, and would also offer up the classic Paul-Williams match-up. I'd pay to see it: let's make it happen.
So what do y'all think? Who's your winner? Who'd I leave out? What line-up changes would you make? Just how long did I spend on this?
best. use. of. a. rainy. day. on. spring. break. home. alone. with. no. car....EVER.
ReplyDeleteactually, some of your money will be going to me. which is really a terrible cause, as i will spend it all on tacos and cheap mexican beer.
ReplyDeleteoh and that georgia team would dominate. seriously, they are stacked. maybe they could put me on the bench.
ReplyDeletethat reminds me, will and sovic, after watching the blazers play twice in the last week, i'm starting to think roy was on the right side of our bet. i might have to mail him ten bucks.
ReplyDeleteThe Mississippi mofos
ReplyDeleteAl Jefferson
Antonio McDyess
Mo Williams
Erick Dampier
Monta Ellis
Travis Outlaw
http://www.databasebasketball.com/players/playerbycollege.htm
ReplyDeletehelpful reference for this type of nonsense
screen, when did you become such an expert on louisiana/mississippi basketball?
ReplyDeleteI love this stuff, especially random-ass knowledge about players long gone. I really enjoyed the shout out to Rusty LaRue. As a matter of fact, I heard you and Dribbles muttering about some of this junk during the Blazers-Trocitos game that I was too tired to stay up for. How was the mandate? Are you fancying a move to Shirlington from Brooklyn? You have frequented three of their establishments in the 5 days.
ReplyDeletei will move to shirlington if you promise to sit with me at caribou coffee as we discuss the meaning of life and stare soulfully into each other's eyes.
ReplyDeletedude...i can't wait for tacos and cheap beer. 1 week!!
ReplyDeleteAustin is waiting for you with open legs.
ReplyDelete