Tuesday Noon Dump

A quick look at last night's highs and lows.  I think the categories are self explanatory, but I've provided definitions for dumb people...
(FG - FT - 3pt - reb - ast - st - blk - pts)

Hot Shit --best line of the night

Kevin Love, Dripping Man Klove
8/15 - 4/5 - 4 -15 - 1 - 3 - 2 - 24 


Loose Stool--worse line of the night
Ed Davis, Big Guy Big Guy
1/5 - 0/0 - 0 - 1 - 1 - 0 - 0 - 2 


Shart--surprising line of the night
Jarrett Jack, Barbara Streisand
11/17 - 4/4 - 1 - 5 - 11 - 1 - 2 - 27 

Upper Decker--best bench line of the night
Ben Gordon, Hip to be Clip
8/15 - 8/9 - 2 - 3 - 6 - 0 - 0 - 26 


You disagree?  Tell it in the comments, bitches.
A special thanks to Dois for being in charge of research.  

Missing: Sovic Tarasovic

Have you seen this man?  Known for his frequent posting of witty and acerbic comments on the Cluj University Faculty of Letters blog, this man was last seen posting in March of 2011.  If found, please give a swift kick in the nuts and put a laptop in front of him.

His Cluj family misses him so much...

So, Yeah...

...I suck at posting on the blog. But still, you should see this, from this week's semi-final playoff match-up.

Big Guy Big Guy's Wesley Matthews takes it to the hoop against the Black Prezodents' Javale McGee:


Oh, snap.

Hopefully a harbinger of things to come for this match-up.

Saturday Morning Dump

A quick look at last night's highs and lows.

Hot Shit
Deron Williams, I'm Optimus Prime
8/19 - 0/0 - 3 - 8 - 14 - 1 - 1 - 19

Loose Stool
Richard Jefferson, Hip to be Clip
1/8 - 0/0 - .000 - 1 - 4 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 3

Shart
JJ Hickson, Uno Dos 3
12/19 - 3/3 - 0 - 14 - 1 - 0 - 4 - 27
This is JJ's second Saturday Shart in a row, so either he's really good on Friday nights, or I should take him out of this category and start considering him for Hot Shits.

Upper Decker
Chris Bosh, Old Man Whiteford
4/10 - 9/10 - 0 - 10 - 1 - 2 - 0 - 17
Not only was this performance left on the bench, it was left in the IR spot. ILLEGAL! Get your roster fixed, Whiteford/Forshay.

Fuck Me...

This is the Browless Wonders.  I'd like to start a new weekly column called "fuck me" in which I go over the players which I've idiotically dropped at some point that are now being used to fuck me in my current match up.  This week, I face Old Man Whiteford, and two of my old friends: Jose Calderon and Andris Biedrins.
I drafted both of these players.  In Jose's case, I held on to him while he struggled through beginning of the season.  Finally fed up with his ineptitude (exacerbated by his timeshare with Jarrett Jack), I dropped him...just before Jack was traded to New Orleans.  Old Man Whiteford (really, Forshay), scooped him up opportunistically.  Last game, he had 19 assists.  Fuck me.
Andris actually pisses me off a bit more.  After a sluggish but promising start, Andris was ready to break out.  However, he got hurt...again (he missed most of last season with injury).  I retardedly held onto him for 3 weeks while he was hurt.  He came back...and sucked balls.  I tried to keep him on my team, but with other injuries, he had to go to free up roster space.  Recently, he started to get hot again in the categories in which he excels:  rebounds, blocks, fg% and steals.  Once again, Old Man Whiteford opportunistically picked him up.  On Jan 30th, he had 11 pts (on 5-7 fg), 10 rebs, 3 blocks and a steal.  Fuck me.

Will

Saturday Brunch Dump

A quick look at last night's highs and lows.

Hot Shit
Rudy Gay, Black Prezodents
8/20 - 9/11 - 1 - 11 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 26
Lots of worthy contenders here, but ultimately I went with my own guy. I leave it to you and your Comments to decide whether that's a legitimate judgement or self-centered bias. Other considerations included Elton Brand, Dwyane Wade, and, of course, Amir Johnson.

Loose Stool
Javale McGee, Black Prezodents
1/5 - 0/0 - 0 - 1 - 0 - 0 - 1 - 2

Shart
JJ Hickson, Uno Dos 3
11/21 - 9/10 - 0 - 15 - 2 - 0 - 1 - 31
This is the traditional Shart in the sense of a less-heralded guy posting a big line. It's probably NOT a good thing for the Cavs that JJ Hickson is getting 21 shots, but 31 and 15 is 31 and 15.

Andre Iguodala, Barbra Streisand
5/11 - 7/8 - 1 - 4 - 16 - 1 - 2 - 18
And this is a more untraditional Shart in that we're very used to seeing great lines from Iggy, but I was still pretty shocked to see 16 assists there. I read somewhere recently that Larry Brown Mo Cheeks Eddie Jordan Doug Collins planned on using him more as a point forward, so maybe numbers like this will become the norm. For now, I'm impressed.


Upper Decker
Deron Williams, I'm Optimus Prime
9/23 - 6/6 - 2 - 2 - 12 - 0 - 0 - 26
Can't blame Beb here, as Williams has missed the past several games and I think was a somewhat surprising start in this one, but still hurts to leave those stats on the bench.

Snow Day Morning Dump

A quick look at last night's highs and lows.

Hot Shit
Kevin Durant, Uno Dos 3
15/28 - 13/14 - 4 - 18 - 2 - 2 - 2 - 47
Haven't finished checking the annals yet, but this may be our first SUPER DUPER OCTUPLET of the year.

Loose Stool
Roy Hibbert, Big Guy Big Guy
2/6 - 0/2 - 0 - 2 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 4

Upper Decker
Jrue Holiday, Barbra Streisand
6/16 - 3/4 - 0 - 5 - 11 - 1 - 2 - 15

Shart
Kyle Lowry, Hip To Be Clip
7/13 - 4/5 - 2 - 6 - 8 - 0 - 1 - 20