Charts & Figgers

Each Saturday brings high-level statistical analysis from a man who hasn't taken a math class since high school.

Last night I spent an exciting Friday night with my roommates sitting in front of the TV, watching "Step Up 2 the Streets," and keeping an eye on numbers turning red on my Stat-Tracker. As an owner, I get most psyched about the players who contribute in areas outside of their expected positional categories ('Sheed dropping 3's from the 5-spot, Rondo hoovering boards from the 1, etc.), so I was especially thrilled to see three of my guys hitting my fantasy ideal: the 8-category night. If a guy can get a three, a board, an assist, a steal, and a block all in one night as well as knocking down some free throws, I don't care if he only gets one of each, he's got a place on the Black Prezodents. I decided to look back through the last two weeks and see how often my guys had achieved the coveted 8-cat night, and then went through all your lousy teams to see how they'd done as well. It occurred to me at some point that the percentage categories could register without actually being beneficial (a 25% shooting night isn't helping anybody), so I decided to set a floor for those categories: 35% shooting and 70% free-throw shooting. That ended up eliminating one of my 8-catters from last night (damn your 50% from the line, K-Mart!), but made for a more legitimate reading of the true 8-cat night. The results, below:

(fg%--ft%--3pm--pts--reb--ast--stl--blk)

Black Prezodents: 3
Rasheed Wallace, 1/28
.563--.833--2--25--10--2--5--1
Danny Granger, 1/30
.353--1.000--2--19--5--4--2--2
Eric Gordon, 1/30
.474--.800--5--27--7--2--2--1

Browless Wonders: 2
Chris Paul, 1/26
.538--1.000--1--27--10--15--7--1
Charlie Villanueva, 1/30
.500--1.000--2--26--13--1--1--2

Professor Dribbles: 3
Boris Diaw, 1/23
.625--1.000--3--26--11--4--2--1
Kobe Bryant, 1/25
.471--1.000--2--22--4--3--1--1
Boris Diaw, 1/30
.429--1.000--2--16--5--5--1--2

Snap Jelly Soldiers: 3
Ben Gordon, 1/20
.545--.800--1--21--4--4--1--1
John Salmons, 1/28
.500--1.000-4--22-3--5--1--1
LeBron James, 1/30
.529--.833--2--25--7--6--3--1

Dominique Moceanu: 2
Kevin Martin, 1/27
.471--.882--4--35--7--7--4--1
Kevin Martin, 1/30
.421--.889--3--27--3--3--1--1

Fire Al Groh: 3
Al Thornton, 1/23
.464--1.000--2--34--5--1--1--3
Mo Williams, 1/24
.400--1.000--5--25--4--4--1--1
Vince Carter, 1/24
.600--1.000--3--23--7--5--4--1

Black Ice: 3
Jason Richardson, 1/25
.385--1.000--1--15--7--2--1--2
Ray Allen, 1/25
.692--1.000--4--23--5--7--1--1
Tracy McGrady, 1/28
.400--1.000--3--24--5--6--2--1

Kill Whitey: 1
Manu Ginobili, 1/20
.800--.857--4--26--8--3--2--1

Great Oden's Raven: 5
Rashard Lewis, 1/17
.667--.800--3--23--4--2--1--1
Randy Foye, 1/23
.368--.857--4--24--5--8--1--1
Chauncey Billups, 1/25
.385--.750--2--22--2--1--1--2
Chauncey Billups, 1/27
.533--1.000--4--29--4--3--4--2
Mehmet Okur, 1/27
.438--1.000--2--22--17--3--2--1

Working's fo Suckers: 1
Rudy Gay, 1/21:
.667--.714--1--26--4--1--1--2

Screen Team: 3
Kevin Durant, 1/18
.500--.889--3--31--6--5--1--1
Raymond Felton, 1/19
.364--1.000--2--13--2--9--3--1
Kevin Durant, 1/23
.435--.923--2--46--15--4--2--1

I had hoped to find some sort of statistical connection between 8-cat nights and team success, but with so many of us having three 8-catters over this time period (1/17-1/30), it seems all I can say is that these types of guys are scattered pretty well throughout the league. One thing we can say: If you don't have a good number of 8-cat nights, you probably suck (Dominique Moceanu, Working's fo Suckers), but having a decent number of 8-catters doesn't necessarily mean you don't suck (Black Ice).