A look at the week to come in the NBA and the CUFBA.
If you were hoping for a Cluj Marketplace segment, you might have to wait a few more days. The schedule here in the Faculty Lounge is changing a bit, as I (and seemingly you) have lost interest in a few of the normal weeklies. But the League Pass Highlights lives on:
Monday: Lakers vs. Blazers
There is actually another game tonight (Hornets vs. Hawks) that I could get pretty geeked about, but Lakers-Blazers is pretty much a League Pass money shot as far as I'm concerned. The only thing that could up the ante on this one is if somehow Rondo suited up for Portland tonight (though it might explain his mysterious absence from the C's game yesterday). Even though I'm a big Blazers fan, I did not realize until just now that my boys have taken six straight from Kobe and company. That's pretty fucking incredible, considering that the Lakers have only lost six games to Western Conference opponents all season. [UPDATE: Apparently that statistic refers to games at the Rose Garden. Not nearly as impressive, but still pretty radical.]
Tuesday: Jazz vs. Pacers
OK this is a weird one. I don't really like either of these teams very much, but Utah is playing incredibly lately (11 straight victories) and I think Danny Granger might make a go at playing in this one, which would be awesome. If not, I'll enjoy watching the first quarter and a half of D-Will and Boozer dismantling the Pacers, then probably watch DVR'd episodes of Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory.
Wednesday: Thunder vs. Nuggets
Speaking of players returning from injury... I'm not sure if he'll be back by this game (or anytime soon), but I did trade for Kevin Durant in my middle school league last week, so I'm looking forward to having another reason to watch the Thunder soon. My interest in the Nuggets is well-documented, and has enjoyed a recent resurgence thanks to George Karl's decision to finally start JR Smith.
Thursday: Cavaliers vs. Suns, I guess
Thursdays are probably a highlight of NBA fandom for some of you, since there are nationally broadcasted games, but I fucking hate these scantily-scheduled nights with only two games. Shocker, one of them is Kobe and the other is LeBron. I picked the later game because I'm more likely to watch it as I'm heading to bed.
Friday: Mavericks vs. Warriors...
...reminds me of that magical Round 1 series in '07 when the frenzied Diddy-led Warriors upset Dirk and co., and will serve as inspiration for Bardey and I to topple the odds in Atlantic City, where we will be rolling dice. Any and all should strongly consider joining us. There are Greyhounds leaving from the Port Authority practically every 20 minutes. After our big night, we'll probably be taking a helicopter back.
Saturday: Clippers vs. Nuggets
And if, by some chance, we return from the craps tables as Losers, then I will drown my sorrows on Saturday night amongst my own kind by watching my lowly Clippers, Baron Davis and Eric Gordon. I'm really pulling for Gordon to grab Rookie of the Year honors, but I think when you're playing for the Clippers, there's pretty much no hope.
Sunday: Blazers vs. Hawks
A week bookended by Blazers games against some of my favorite teams to watch is a wonderful week of the NBA indeed.
3.09.2009
3.08.2009
Charts & Figgers
Each Saturday brings high-level statistical analysis from a man who hasn't taken a math class since high school.
So far this season, the Black Prezodents are tops in the league in steals, averaging almost 35 a week. Kill Whitey, on the other hand, is last in the league averaging a mere 13. And yet, as of this writing (sunday, 7:10), the two teams are separated by only one steal. Schedule variations, injuries, and roster changes conspire together every week to take what should be clear victories and turn them into defeats. Certainly team management comes into play somewhat in determining these unexpected results, but to a large degree it comes down to luck. Considering this, I decided to look into quantifying the luck of each team in the league.
To determine the luck factor of each team, I looked over the full-season statistics for each team, looking at who they're ahead of, who they're behind, and how many times they've played each. Then I compared the total number of games they've won to the number of games they "should have" won, thus producing their Luck Factor. (Ejemplo: The Browless Wonders are 8th in the league in field goal percentage, and they've played teams 9-12 six times, so they "should" have six fg% wins. In fact, they have 10. Lucky fucks.)
The Cluj U FBA Luck Index (as of Week 18)
Fear the Turtle: has won 65, should have won 49. Luck Factor = +16
Screen Team: has won 79, should have won 66. Luck Factor = +13
Black Ice: has won 29, should have won 25. Luck Factor = +4
Professor Dribbles: has won 65, should have won 63. Luck Factor = +2
Fire Al Groh: has won 89, should have won 87. Luck Factor = +2
Dominique Moceanu: has won 60, should have won 61. Luck Factor = -1
Kill Whitey: has won 66, should have won 68. Luck Factor = -2
Black Prezodents: have won 75, should have won 78. Luck Factor = -3
Working's fo Suckers: has won 63, should have won 70. Luck Factor = -7
The Browless Wonders: have won 84, should have won 92. Luck Factor = -8
Great Oden's Raven: have won 84, should have won 95. Luck Factor = -11
Snap Jelly Soldiers: have won 91, should have won 110. Luck Factor = -19
That's right, despite the fact that Snap Jelly Soldiers are on top of the league, they've actually lost a lot of games that, statistically, they should have won. Instead of just beating the rest of us, they should be crushing us. I should also note that Screen's Luck Factor is probably thrown off a bit by the fact that he produced no stats for the first two weeks, but I'm not about to do a ton more math just to eliminate that inconsistency.
The biggest swings in luck came in the percentage categories, with Snap Jelly suffering a -8 differential and Great Oden's Raven boasting a +8 differential in field goal percentage. In general, though, percentages are decided by relatively thin margins, so it's not surprising that the results should be so influenced by luck. Among the volume stats, the biggest swings were Fear the Turles, with +6's in both Assists and 3-Pointers, and Kill Whitey, with a -7 in Assists.
Obviously, there's nothing any of us can do to affect or alter our luck, but things in the fantasy universe do tend towards parity and equality, and I am a believer in karma, so those of you with negative luck factors can probably expect some good things coming your way in the next couple weeks. As for Dev and Screen? You two are fucked.
So far this season, the Black Prezodents are tops in the league in steals, averaging almost 35 a week. Kill Whitey, on the other hand, is last in the league averaging a mere 13. And yet, as of this writing (sunday, 7:10), the two teams are separated by only one steal. Schedule variations, injuries, and roster changes conspire together every week to take what should be clear victories and turn them into defeats. Certainly team management comes into play somewhat in determining these unexpected results, but to a large degree it comes down to luck. Considering this, I decided to look into quantifying the luck of each team in the league.
To determine the luck factor of each team, I looked over the full-season statistics for each team, looking at who they're ahead of, who they're behind, and how many times they've played each. Then I compared the total number of games they've won to the number of games they "should have" won, thus producing their Luck Factor. (Ejemplo: The Browless Wonders are 8th in the league in field goal percentage, and they've played teams 9-12 six times, so they "should" have six fg% wins. In fact, they have 10. Lucky fucks.)
The Cluj U FBA Luck Index (as of Week 18)
Fear the Turtle: has won 65, should have won 49. Luck Factor = +16
Screen Team: has won 79, should have won 66. Luck Factor = +13
Black Ice: has won 29, should have won 25. Luck Factor = +4
Professor Dribbles: has won 65, should have won 63. Luck Factor = +2
Fire Al Groh: has won 89, should have won 87. Luck Factor = +2
Dominique Moceanu: has won 60, should have won 61. Luck Factor = -1
Kill Whitey: has won 66, should have won 68. Luck Factor = -2
Black Prezodents: have won 75, should have won 78. Luck Factor = -3
Working's fo Suckers: has won 63, should have won 70. Luck Factor = -7
The Browless Wonders: have won 84, should have won 92. Luck Factor = -8
Great Oden's Raven: have won 84, should have won 95. Luck Factor = -11
Snap Jelly Soldiers: have won 91, should have won 110. Luck Factor = -19
That's right, despite the fact that Snap Jelly Soldiers are on top of the league, they've actually lost a lot of games that, statistically, they should have won. Instead of just beating the rest of us, they should be crushing us. I should also note that Screen's Luck Factor is probably thrown off a bit by the fact that he produced no stats for the first two weeks, but I'm not about to do a ton more math just to eliminate that inconsistency.
The biggest swings in luck came in the percentage categories, with Snap Jelly suffering a -8 differential and Great Oden's Raven boasting a +8 differential in field goal percentage. In general, though, percentages are decided by relatively thin margins, so it's not surprising that the results should be so influenced by luck. Among the volume stats, the biggest swings were Fear the Turles, with +6's in both Assists and 3-Pointers, and Kill Whitey, with a -7 in Assists.
Obviously, there's nothing any of us can do to affect or alter our luck, but things in the fantasy universe do tend towards parity and equality, and I am a believer in karma, so those of you with negative luck factors can probably expect some good things coming your way in the next couple weeks. As for Dev and Screen? You two are fucked.
3.05.2009
Week 18 in Review: Game Re-Caps
What you missed if you were only paying attention to your own game, you selfish prick.
Whoops! Kind of forgot I had a blog here for a couple days. Here, belatedly, are your Week 18 write-ups.
Great Oden's Raven 6 (ft%/3pm/pts/ast/stl/blk)
Screen Team 2 (fg%/reb)
The injury bug bit Screen Team this week, meaning only partial weeks for two of Andres' most valuable contributors: Kevin Durant and Nene. As we saw in last week's Charts & Figgers, Durant is a big part of Screen Team's success in every single category, and though Jarrett Jack (8 3s, 98 pts, 20 ast, 5 st) stepped up in his absence, there still wasn't much the Screen Teamers could do in the face of Beb's traditionally dominant categories. As noted last week, the Ravens are perennial contenders in a handful of categories (3s, points, assists, steals) while rolling the dice on the others. I recommended a trade to sacrifice some of those cats, and Beb responded by giving up some of those 3s and points (Randy Foye) to pick up some boards (Andris Biedrins). It will be interesting to see how that shift in strategy plays out for G.O.R. as we near the end of the regular season.
Working's fo Suckers 6 (ft%/pts/reb/ast/stl/blk)
Kill Whitey 2 (fg%/3pm)
Hey, hey! Look who's involved in a fantasy basketball league! It's Jesse, who not only shook up his roster with the afore-mentioned Great Oden's Raven trade, but also handed Dekker a week 18 ass-whooping. Two of the factors that have dragged the Suckers down this season have been the inconsistent health of Deron Williams and Zach Randolph, but both were at full strength this week and it paid off. D-Will has his old running mate, Carlos Boozer, back, and the ol' Jazz pick-and-roll paid off to the tune of 54 assists. Randolph led the team in scoring (101) and boarding (44), as you might have expected him to at the beginning of the season--an expectation he has rarely met. Between Williams, Jason Kidd, and Leandro Barbosa running the point for an injured Steve Nash, this team has some serious dish power, and they led the league in assists this week with 171. A playoff berth seems unlikely at this point for Delconte, but if the team stays at full strength they might play the spoiler role for their next few opponents.
Professor Dribbles 6 (fg%/3pm/pts/reb/ast/stl)
Snap Jelly Soldiers 2 (ft%/blk)
Holy shit. Professor Dribbles achieved two Cluj milestones this week in an unlikely victory that had the whole league (OK, more like me, Will, and Bardey) aflame with excitement. The first was crossing the 700-points barrier. I'm not sure if this is the first time we've had someone go over 700, but at the very least it's exceedingly rare and impressive. Helping the Professor get there was the continued excellence of Kobe Bryant (136 pts) and the resurgence of his former teammate, Shaquille O'Neal (110 pts). The second notable achievement for Dribbles was handing Snap Jelly Soldiers only their second loss of the season, and their first since Week 4. Dribbs was solid across the board, leading the league in field goal percentage and points, and finishing second in assists. This was very nearly a 7-1 victory, as Snap Jelly (31 steals) was the only team in the league to top Dribbles in that category this week. This was the second straight underwhelming performance for the league leaders, but that blow is likely softened by the fact that even in losing 6-2, Steffens clinched a playoff position. That must be nice for him. Asshole.
Fear the Turtle 5 (fg%/pts/reb/ast/blk)
Dominique Moceanu 2 (ft%/3pm)
Poor Billy. After losing Amar'e Stoudemire to injury, and thus (controversially) negating our trade, his return to the West Coast apparently left him too tired, too late, too hungover, or too disinterested to adjust his line-up for Week 18, and he ended up leaving blanks at two positions. These gaping holes left him at or near the bottom of the league in most of the volume stats, but he still managed to lead the league in threes thanks to Ron Artest, Kevin Martin, and Peja Stojakovic. The Turtles were paced by Tony Parker who led the team in points (102) and assists (31), while new face-of-the-franchise Chris Wilcox was worst on the squad in threes (0), points (7), rebounds (7), assists (1), and both the percentages. With Wilcox turning out to be such a huge disappointment and Juan Dixon inexplicably not on the roster, it's unclear why Dev persists in naming himself after Maryland, or why any of us, besides a lousy team with two empty slots, should fear them.
The Browless Wonders 4 (ft%/ast/stl/blk)
Fire Al Groh 4 (fg%/3pm/pts/reb)
Like Screen Team and Professor Dribbles in last week's match-up, these two cocksuckers found themselves a way to tie so that no one's feelings got hurt and the lovefest between them could continue. I was a party to one or two of their chats last week, but I can only imagine the sorts of private online chats that were going on between these two as their match-up progressed. Surely Bardey marveled at Chris Paul's 55 assists, while Shoaf was awed by the scoring prowess of Nate Robinson (116 points). With the rebound battle so close, I'm guessing that Will called off the dogs headed into the weekend so that Bardey and his tandem of Dwight Howard (54 boards) and Emeka Okafor (37 boards) would not have to face the indignity of losing that category--an unspeakable fate. Still, Bardey must have been crushed to suffer his first ever defeat in blocks, and I can only hope that Will was able to adequately console him via google video-chat.
Black Prezodents 7 (fg%/3pm/pts/reb/ast/stl/blk)
Black Ice 1 (ft%)
Whew! I needed that. Nothing particularly fantastic for the Prezbos this week, but nothing fantastic is called for when you're taking on the likes of Joakim Noah and Javale McGee.
Here are your Best and Worst for Week 18:
Field Goal Percentage: Professor Dribbles .514, Great Oden's Raven .444
Free Throw Percentage: Great Oden's Raven .877, Fire Al Groh .705
Three-Pointers Made: Dominique Moceanu 53, Snap Jelly Soldiers 15
Points: Professor Dribbles 703, Black Ice 370
Rebounds: Black Prezodents 250, Dominique Moceanu 134
Assists: Working's fo Suckers 171, Black Ice 82
Steals: Browless Wonders 42, Kill Whitey 20
Blocks: Snap Jelly Soldiers 31, Dominique Moceanu 10
Week 19's match-ups include...
Black Prezodents vs. Kill Whitey - RGR Match-Up
The Browless Wonders vs. Black Ice
Fear the Turtle vs. Fire Al Groh
Professor Dribbles vs. Dominique Moceanu
Snap Jelly Soldiers vs. Screen Team
Great Oden's Raven vs. Working's fo Suckers - RGR Match-Up
Good luck to all in Week 19 except for Dekker.
Because he's a faggot.
Whoops! Kind of forgot I had a blog here for a couple days. Here, belatedly, are your Week 18 write-ups.
Great Oden's Raven 6 (ft%/3pm/pts/ast/stl/blk)
Screen Team 2 (fg%/reb)
The injury bug bit Screen Team this week, meaning only partial weeks for two of Andres' most valuable contributors: Kevin Durant and Nene. As we saw in last week's Charts & Figgers, Durant is a big part of Screen Team's success in every single category, and though Jarrett Jack (8 3s, 98 pts, 20 ast, 5 st) stepped up in his absence, there still wasn't much the Screen Teamers could do in the face of Beb's traditionally dominant categories. As noted last week, the Ravens are perennial contenders in a handful of categories (3s, points, assists, steals) while rolling the dice on the others. I recommended a trade to sacrifice some of those cats, and Beb responded by giving up some of those 3s and points (Randy Foye) to pick up some boards (Andris Biedrins). It will be interesting to see how that shift in strategy plays out for G.O.R. as we near the end of the regular season.
Working's fo Suckers 6 (ft%/pts/reb/ast/stl/blk)
Kill Whitey 2 (fg%/3pm)
Hey, hey! Look who's involved in a fantasy basketball league! It's Jesse, who not only shook up his roster with the afore-mentioned Great Oden's Raven trade, but also handed Dekker a week 18 ass-whooping. Two of the factors that have dragged the Suckers down this season have been the inconsistent health of Deron Williams and Zach Randolph, but both were at full strength this week and it paid off. D-Will has his old running mate, Carlos Boozer, back, and the ol' Jazz pick-and-roll paid off to the tune of 54 assists. Randolph led the team in scoring (101) and boarding (44), as you might have expected him to at the beginning of the season--an expectation he has rarely met. Between Williams, Jason Kidd, and Leandro Barbosa running the point for an injured Steve Nash, this team has some serious dish power, and they led the league in assists this week with 171. A playoff berth seems unlikely at this point for Delconte, but if the team stays at full strength they might play the spoiler role for their next few opponents.
Professor Dribbles 6 (fg%/3pm/pts/reb/ast/stl)
Snap Jelly Soldiers 2 (ft%/blk)
Holy shit. Professor Dribbles achieved two Cluj milestones this week in an unlikely victory that had the whole league (OK, more like me, Will, and Bardey) aflame with excitement. The first was crossing the 700-points barrier. I'm not sure if this is the first time we've had someone go over 700, but at the very least it's exceedingly rare and impressive. Helping the Professor get there was the continued excellence of Kobe Bryant (136 pts) and the resurgence of his former teammate, Shaquille O'Neal (110 pts). The second notable achievement for Dribbles was handing Snap Jelly Soldiers only their second loss of the season, and their first since Week 4. Dribbs was solid across the board, leading the league in field goal percentage and points, and finishing second in assists. This was very nearly a 7-1 victory, as Snap Jelly (31 steals) was the only team in the league to top Dribbles in that category this week. This was the second straight underwhelming performance for the league leaders, but that blow is likely softened by the fact that even in losing 6-2, Steffens clinched a playoff position. That must be nice for him. Asshole.
Fear the Turtle 5 (fg%/pts/reb/ast/blk)
Dominique Moceanu 2 (ft%/3pm)
Poor Billy. After losing Amar'e Stoudemire to injury, and thus (controversially) negating our trade, his return to the West Coast apparently left him too tired, too late, too hungover, or too disinterested to adjust his line-up for Week 18, and he ended up leaving blanks at two positions. These gaping holes left him at or near the bottom of the league in most of the volume stats, but he still managed to lead the league in threes thanks to Ron Artest, Kevin Martin, and Peja Stojakovic. The Turtles were paced by Tony Parker who led the team in points (102) and assists (31), while new face-of-the-franchise Chris Wilcox was worst on the squad in threes (0), points (7), rebounds (7), assists (1), and both the percentages. With Wilcox turning out to be such a huge disappointment and Juan Dixon inexplicably not on the roster, it's unclear why Dev persists in naming himself after Maryland, or why any of us, besides a lousy team with two empty slots, should fear them.
The Browless Wonders 4 (ft%/ast/stl/blk)
Fire Al Groh 4 (fg%/3pm/pts/reb)
Like Screen Team and Professor Dribbles in last week's match-up, these two cocksuckers found themselves a way to tie so that no one's feelings got hurt and the lovefest between them could continue. I was a party to one or two of their chats last week, but I can only imagine the sorts of private online chats that were going on between these two as their match-up progressed. Surely Bardey marveled at Chris Paul's 55 assists, while Shoaf was awed by the scoring prowess of Nate Robinson (116 points). With the rebound battle so close, I'm guessing that Will called off the dogs headed into the weekend so that Bardey and his tandem of Dwight Howard (54 boards) and Emeka Okafor (37 boards) would not have to face the indignity of losing that category--an unspeakable fate. Still, Bardey must have been crushed to suffer his first ever defeat in blocks, and I can only hope that Will was able to adequately console him via google video-chat.
Black Prezodents 7 (fg%/3pm/pts/reb/ast/stl/blk)
Black Ice 1 (ft%)
Whew! I needed that. Nothing particularly fantastic for the Prezbos this week, but nothing fantastic is called for when you're taking on the likes of Joakim Noah and Javale McGee.
Here are your Best and Worst for Week 18:
Field Goal Percentage: Professor Dribbles .514, Great Oden's Raven .444
Free Throw Percentage: Great Oden's Raven .877, Fire Al Groh .705
Three-Pointers Made: Dominique Moceanu 53, Snap Jelly Soldiers 15
Points: Professor Dribbles 703, Black Ice 370
Rebounds: Black Prezodents 250, Dominique Moceanu 134
Assists: Working's fo Suckers 171, Black Ice 82
Steals: Browless Wonders 42, Kill Whitey 20
Blocks: Snap Jelly Soldiers 31, Dominique Moceanu 10
Week 19's match-ups include...
Black Prezodents vs. Kill Whitey - RGR Match-Up
The Browless Wonders vs. Black Ice
Fear the Turtle vs. Fire Al Groh
Professor Dribbles vs. Dominique Moceanu
Snap Jelly Soldiers vs. Screen Team
Great Oden's Raven vs. Working's fo Suckers - RGR Match-Up
Good luck to all in Week 19 except for Dekker.
Because he's a faggot.
2.27.2009
League Pass Power Rankings
In football, I'll always have the 'Skins. In baseball, I've got no choice but to support the Nats. College athletics are for suckers and lame-o's. But NBA fandom is blessedly fluid. Every Thursday, I'll rank the top 5 teams I look forward to watching on League Pass, and why.
Since there aren't always great changes in my LP Power Ranking from week to week, and since I can't think of new stuff to say about the Blazers, Hawks, and Bobcats every week, I figured this week I'd make a brief departure and give my bottom 5 teams that I least look forward to watching, and why.
26. Detroit Pistons
As recently as the start of this season, these guys were definite candidates for the top 5. Rasheed is still (nominally) my favorite player in the league, although Rondo and Odom are nipping at his heels. McDyess has been a solid, if unspectacular, addition to the Black Prez; and I've been down with Rip since his Wiz-kids days. But damn, does this team play some ugly, uninspired ball. I try to watch, I really do. But 'Sheed is clearly on his last legs of usefulness before he becomes the greatest commentator of all time, and Michael Curry is just doing an atrocious job of coaching these guys. I don't think the Chauncey-for-AI trade is entirely to blame, but at the same time, I haven't been entertained by these guys since it happened.
27. New Jersey Nets
One of the many benefits of living in the NYC area is that we've got two local sports teams in every sport, and in general every local game appears in HD. The Knicks and Nets both have their own channel, meaning that I have the oppportunity to watch some high-def basketball on a nearly nightly basis. But that hasn't brought me any closer to watching any Nets games this year. Part of this is institutional: there isn't a worse name and uniform in the league than the Nets. Seriously, Nets? That's the best you can come up with? It's not even the best part of the basket: how much cooler would the Jersey Hoops be? And the color scheme: say what you will about the Wizards' ridiculous gold lame' outfits, at least they're trying to show some excitement. The predominant color in the Nets unis is boring-ass gray. Beyond these lame franchise traits, the Nets themselves are just entirely uninteresting to me. Devin Harris is a seriously legit scorer (and if you didn't see that half-court buzzer-beater, for god's sake check it out), but he's got the kind of silky-smooth, powerless game that bores me to tears. Vince Carter is having a great season, but he set the bar so high for himself early in his career that no one will ever love him again. And beyond that, I'm not sure I can even name a player besides Yi Jianlian, who would be of absolutely no interest, and maybe not even in the league, if he wasn't Chinese. I give props to Lopez, and if they ever pull of the move to Brooklyn I'll love them eternally, but until then I fucking hate the Nets.
28. Chicago Bulls
Pretty shortly after I reached the age of being able to make decisions for myself, I started hating Jordan and his inescapable dominance. By extension, I detested the Bulls (minus Pippen), and that feeling never really went away. On top of that, Chi-Town has featured a revolving door of shitty, personality-less players ever since. I thought that with the drafting of Derrick Rose, I might start to have some love for the Windy City again, but I was really disappointed with his joyless performance on All-Star weekend, proving that even the coolest of young ballers can be ruined by living in the same city as Dekker.
29. Dallas Mavericks
I'm not sure what happened here. I used to love these guys, and last year when I had Josh Howard on my fantasy squad, I watched them whenever possible. But this year I just fucking can't get psyched about them at all. I love the NBA for its players, and the stories and narratives that get built up around them, even when they are totally creations of the fans (or just me) and have no real relation to their actual selves. A few years ago, the Dirk Nowitzki story was one of my favorites, but somehow it seems like the story ended in those Finals they lost to the Heat, and yet he keeps playing. Dirk: the story's over, dude. Close the book and go to bed.
Oh, also, Jason Kidd is a fucking piece of shit.
30. Milwaukee Bucks
There is never, ever, any good reason to watch the Milwaukee Bucks. Ever.
Since there aren't always great changes in my LP Power Ranking from week to week, and since I can't think of new stuff to say about the Blazers, Hawks, and Bobcats every week, I figured this week I'd make a brief departure and give my bottom 5 teams that I least look forward to watching, and why.
26. Detroit Pistons
As recently as the start of this season, these guys were definite candidates for the top 5. Rasheed is still (nominally) my favorite player in the league, although Rondo and Odom are nipping at his heels. McDyess has been a solid, if unspectacular, addition to the Black Prez; and I've been down with Rip since his Wiz-kids days. But damn, does this team play some ugly, uninspired ball. I try to watch, I really do. But 'Sheed is clearly on his last legs of usefulness before he becomes the greatest commentator of all time, and Michael Curry is just doing an atrocious job of coaching these guys. I don't think the Chauncey-for-AI trade is entirely to blame, but at the same time, I haven't been entertained by these guys since it happened.
27. New Jersey Nets
One of the many benefits of living in the NYC area is that we've got two local sports teams in every sport, and in general every local game appears in HD. The Knicks and Nets both have their own channel, meaning that I have the oppportunity to watch some high-def basketball on a nearly nightly basis. But that hasn't brought me any closer to watching any Nets games this year. Part of this is institutional: there isn't a worse name and uniform in the league than the Nets. Seriously, Nets? That's the best you can come up with? It's not even the best part of the basket: how much cooler would the Jersey Hoops be? And the color scheme: say what you will about the Wizards' ridiculous gold lame' outfits, at least they're trying to show some excitement. The predominant color in the Nets unis is boring-ass gray. Beyond these lame franchise traits, the Nets themselves are just entirely uninteresting to me. Devin Harris is a seriously legit scorer (and if you didn't see that half-court buzzer-beater, for god's sake check it out), but he's got the kind of silky-smooth, powerless game that bores me to tears. Vince Carter is having a great season, but he set the bar so high for himself early in his career that no one will ever love him again. And beyond that, I'm not sure I can even name a player besides Yi Jianlian, who would be of absolutely no interest, and maybe not even in the league, if he wasn't Chinese. I give props to Lopez, and if they ever pull of the move to Brooklyn I'll love them eternally, but until then I fucking hate the Nets.
28. Chicago Bulls
Pretty shortly after I reached the age of being able to make decisions for myself, I started hating Jordan and his inescapable dominance. By extension, I detested the Bulls (minus Pippen), and that feeling never really went away. On top of that, Chi-Town has featured a revolving door of shitty, personality-less players ever since. I thought that with the drafting of Derrick Rose, I might start to have some love for the Windy City again, but I was really disappointed with his joyless performance on All-Star weekend, proving that even the coolest of young ballers can be ruined by living in the same city as Dekker.
29. Dallas Mavericks
I'm not sure what happened here. I used to love these guys, and last year when I had Josh Howard on my fantasy squad, I watched them whenever possible. But this year I just fucking can't get psyched about them at all. I love the NBA for its players, and the stories and narratives that get built up around them, even when they are totally creations of the fans (or just me) and have no real relation to their actual selves. A few years ago, the Dirk Nowitzki story was one of my favorites, but somehow it seems like the story ended in those Finals they lost to the Heat, and yet he keeps playing. Dirk: the story's over, dude. Close the book and go to bed.
Oh, also, Jason Kidd is a fucking piece of shit.
30. Milwaukee Bucks
There is never, ever, any good reason to watch the Milwaukee Bucks. Ever.
This Week in Black Prezodential History
Though it's been going strong for the past few years, and has been strengthened tenfold by my involvement in fantasy and especially the Cluj, my prior enthusiasm in the NBA has been one of fits and starts. I've also gone through different stages of awareness/interest: whereas nowadays my fantasy team and League Pass access make league-wide fandom possible, I started (like so many of us) as a mere superstar follower (Jordan/'Nique/Ewing in my youth). In high school, the DeYoung and Associates' quarter-season ticket package and Home Team Sports made me a Bullets fan. In college, I was an NBA playoffs guy: not only was it the era of some exciting post-season teams (the Webber-Vlade-White Chocolate Kings, the Shaq-Kobe Lakers, my beloved Pippen-Sabonis-Grant Blazers), but also the playoffs always coincided with final exams, giving me the perfect excuse to stop studying. Had I been blogging a Playoff Power Rankings back in those days, one of the most random appearances would have been the 2000-2001 Toronto Raptors. I certainly have no Toronto connection, and even then I recognized that adopting the Raptor as a mascot, seemingly due only to the popularity of Jurassic Park, was a totally ridiculous move. But consider: Vince Carter was at the height of his dunking, half-man-half-amazing powers. Tracy McGrady was young, innocent, and had not yet revealed that his legs are made of porcelain. Antonio Davis exemplified the sleepy-eyed cool that later came to characterize the Black Prezodents. Yet of all these stars, it was a role player that rose to the position of a true BP. His stats were wildly unimpressive. His energy was unmatchable. His mustache was incredibly thin. In a four-game playoff series that signaled the death of the Knicks (back in the best-of-5 days), and a truly classic seven-game series against the eventual Eastern champ 76ers, he established himself as a true great, worthy of his shared nickname with one of the greatest wrestlers of all time.
The Junkyard Dog, Jerome Williams, our 23rd Black Prezodent.
By the way, this guy is like the Jimmy Carter of Black Prezodents, doing more good in his post-Prezodential career than he ever did while in office. Check out this blog of his experience as an ambassador of the NBA in Africa. Good shit.
The Junkyard Dog, Jerome Williams, our 23rd Black Prezodent.By the way, this guy is like the Jimmy Carter of Black Prezodents, doing more good in his post-Prezodential career than he ever did while in office. Check out this blog of his experience as an ambassador of the NBA in Africa. Good shit.
2.23.2009
Week 17 in Review: Game Re-Caps
What you missed if you were only paying attention to your own game, you selfish prick.
I'm writing this while watching Celts-Nuggets, so you'll excuse me if I break into an occasional "Rondoooooooooo!" Also, considering that I'm planning on watching the Nuggets at least twice this week, I wish I'd started Kenyon Martin. If I am ever a nationally-known bloggist, I will promote "GT" as a nickname for Kenyon, standing for "Gangsta Tourette's." By the way, having also been the long-time home of Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, I have to ask: what makes Denver so Tourette's-friendly? Is there something about the clean mountain air that cools out those tics and spasms a little bit? Bernier, you're a scientist. Why not research something like this that's actually worth a damn?
Anyways, games...
-JR Smith is hustling out there! Just almost had a sick tip-in that he turned into a kick-out. Rondino doing a lot, but maybe trying to do too much.-
-Local sideline reporter: "The Nuggets have gone skipped past the frustration stage and gone straight to anger."-
-I can't blog. There is 100% going to be a fight here. Kenyon Martin just body-checked Ray Allen.-
Oh thank god, halftime. Okay games for real now.
Great Oden's Raven 5 (ft%/3pm/pts/ast/stl)
Kill Whitey 3 (fg%/reb/blk)
What do you get when you pit a team full of whities against a team with Billups, Wade, and Westbrook? A shitload of assists, that's what. Only one team in the league had more assist than Dekker's this week, but that was his opponent. Tough luck, cracker. The Ravenettes were dishin' and dishin' and scorin' and scorin', as they also led the league in points scored - 617, which is a lot. Now that I look at it, G.O.R. also led the league in field goal percentage. And 3's. Wow, Beb, nice week. Might make sense to make a trade that would sacrifice a few of those huge leads for some of your weaker categories, I would think.
Working's fo Suckers 6 (ft%/3pm/pts/ast/stl/blk)
Black Ice 2 (fg%/reb)
This looks about right for these two teams. 16 total stat categories, and half of those in among the worst 3 in the league for Week 17. Jesse's team was bad, but Reeves' was really bad. He did give us a nice, long chance to say farewell to Elton Brand and Tracy McGrady for the season, though. I wonder if he kept them in this long as a nod of solidarity to his fellow cellar-dweller. Thank God, these two teams will never meet again. (And I do mean never. Not this year. Not next year. Never.)
Professor Dribbles 4 (ft%/reb/ast/blk)
Screen Team 4 (fg%/3pm/pts/stl)
These two have quietly become like a Ballstonian version of Will and Bardey, keeping up chatty conversations on the smackboards all week, congratulating each other on their shared waiver wire pickups and thanking each other for tips here and there. It's a big mutual dick-sucking society in this league and it makes me sick. So it's appropriate, I guess, that these two roomies would tie. Isn't that sweet? That way, it's like you both win! Pretty milquetoast performances, too, though those might owe something to starting Boozer and Garnett, who played about half of one game between them.
-the "Altitude" commentators from Denver local TV just got super-gay talking about Kendrick Perkins rippling physique. It was pretty fantastic.-
Snap Jelly Soldiers 5 (fg%/ft%/3pm/pts/blk)
Fear the Turtle 3 (reb/ast/stl)
Whew! 3-5 seems pretty good for a bottom-half team taking on the current leaders, but this one was a close call for Dev in multiple categories. Five steals (24-19) is a reasonably significant difference, but three assists (82-79) and two rebounds (181-179) could come down to a scorer deciding a shot came a second too late to call it assisted or giving a two-man rebound to one guy and not the other. Still, wins are wins, especially at this point as the season winds down and we come closer to the playoffs. Then again, this game might say more about the front-runner than it does about Dev, who was, after all, amongst the bottom quarter of the league in five categories this week. And still only a 5-3 victory for Snap Jelly? Is this a sign of weakness by the Soldiers? Time will tell.
The Browless Wonders 4 (fg%/reb/ast/blk)
Dominique Moceanu 4 (ft%/3pm/pts/stl)
You can't be proud of winning blocks with eight, and yet I'm somehow sure that Will is. The highest field goal percentage in this match-up came from a guard (Chris Paul), which might be explained by the fact that both teams were disgustingly three-happy. That's right, this was a contest of chuckers, and just like a real game where the teams are content to stay outside and hurl deep bombs, nothing particularly exciting happened. Billy should probably be embarrassed that he only split the game after Will had two players drop 0-fers on the week, but having discussed his feelings for his team with him at length over the past week, I'm fairly confident that he's happy to get any wins at all. Shouldn't be too much more of that with Amar'e out. Sorry man, I'm a dick.
Fire Al Groh 6 (3pm/pts/reb/ast/stl/blk)
Black Prezodents 2 (fg%/ft%)
Ugh. I feel like a Black Ice-type team winning nothing but percentages, but with Kill Whitey nipping at my heels for that final playoff position, it'll have to do. Not a single volume stat win is lame, but the Prezbos did lose our key player, Danny Granger, this week, and still finished within a handful of rebounds and assists, so I'm somewhat proud. Then again, Granger is as big a chucker as anyone on the last two teams, so his presence would almost certainly have destroyed that thousandth-of-a-point lead in field goal percentage and brought me right back to 6-2 or worse. I'm trying to find something to get excited about and failing here... Hold me, Lamar... It's so cold... So cold.
Here's the Best and Worst from Week 17:
Field Goal Percentage: Screen Team .525, Fear the Turtle .430
Free Throw Percentage: Great Oden's Raven .853, Fire Al Groh .699
Three-Pointers Made: Great Oden's Raven 56, Professor Dribbles 14
Points: Great Oden's Raven 617, Black Ice 320
Rebounds: Fire Al Groh 199, Working's for Suckers 130
Assists: Great Oden's Raven 135, Black Ice 55
Steals: Fire Al Groh 42, Kill Whitey 18
Blocks: Fire Al Groh 36, Dominique Moceanu 4
And finally, the match-ups for Week 18:
Black Prezodents (6th) vs. Black Ice (12th)
The Browless Wonders (3rd) vs. Fire Al Groh (2nd)
Fear the Turtle (8th) vs. Dominique Moceanu (10th)
Professor Dribbles (9th) vs. Snap Jelly Soldiers (1st)
Kill Whitey (7th) vs. Working's for Suckers (11th)
Great Oden's Raven (5th) vs. Screen Team (4th) - Is this an RGR-game? I can't remember.
Good luck to all this week, except for Reeves, who totally rested his hand against the glass in the Great Hand-Raising Contest of '98. Fancy fucking ketchup, man.
I'm writing this while watching Celts-Nuggets, so you'll excuse me if I break into an occasional "Rondoooooooooo!" Also, considering that I'm planning on watching the Nuggets at least twice this week, I wish I'd started Kenyon Martin. If I am ever a nationally-known bloggist, I will promote "GT" as a nickname for Kenyon, standing for "Gangsta Tourette's." By the way, having also been the long-time home of Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, I have to ask: what makes Denver so Tourette's-friendly? Is there something about the clean mountain air that cools out those tics and spasms a little bit? Bernier, you're a scientist. Why not research something like this that's actually worth a damn?
Anyways, games...
-JR Smith is hustling out there! Just almost had a sick tip-in that he turned into a kick-out. Rondino doing a lot, but maybe trying to do too much.-
-Local sideline reporter: "The Nuggets have gone skipped past the frustration stage and gone straight to anger."-
-I can't blog. There is 100% going to be a fight here. Kenyon Martin just body-checked Ray Allen.-
Oh thank god, halftime. Okay games for real now.
Great Oden's Raven 5 (ft%/3pm/pts/ast/stl)
Kill Whitey 3 (fg%/reb/blk)
What do you get when you pit a team full of whities against a team with Billups, Wade, and Westbrook? A shitload of assists, that's what. Only one team in the league had more assist than Dekker's this week, but that was his opponent. Tough luck, cracker. The Ravenettes were dishin' and dishin' and scorin' and scorin', as they also led the league in points scored - 617, which is a lot. Now that I look at it, G.O.R. also led the league in field goal percentage. And 3's. Wow, Beb, nice week. Might make sense to make a trade that would sacrifice a few of those huge leads for some of your weaker categories, I would think.
Working's fo Suckers 6 (ft%/3pm/pts/ast/stl/blk)
Black Ice 2 (fg%/reb)
This looks about right for these two teams. 16 total stat categories, and half of those in among the worst 3 in the league for Week 17. Jesse's team was bad, but Reeves' was really bad. He did give us a nice, long chance to say farewell to Elton Brand and Tracy McGrady for the season, though. I wonder if he kept them in this long as a nod of solidarity to his fellow cellar-dweller. Thank God, these two teams will never meet again. (And I do mean never. Not this year. Not next year. Never.)
Professor Dribbles 4 (ft%/reb/ast/blk)
Screen Team 4 (fg%/3pm/pts/stl)
These two have quietly become like a Ballstonian version of Will and Bardey, keeping up chatty conversations on the smackboards all week, congratulating each other on their shared waiver wire pickups and thanking each other for tips here and there. It's a big mutual dick-sucking society in this league and it makes me sick. So it's appropriate, I guess, that these two roomies would tie. Isn't that sweet? That way, it's like you both win! Pretty milquetoast performances, too, though those might owe something to starting Boozer and Garnett, who played about half of one game between them.
-the "Altitude" commentators from Denver local TV just got super-gay talking about Kendrick Perkins rippling physique. It was pretty fantastic.-
Snap Jelly Soldiers 5 (fg%/ft%/3pm/pts/blk)
Fear the Turtle 3 (reb/ast/stl)
Whew! 3-5 seems pretty good for a bottom-half team taking on the current leaders, but this one was a close call for Dev in multiple categories. Five steals (24-19) is a reasonably significant difference, but three assists (82-79) and two rebounds (181-179) could come down to a scorer deciding a shot came a second too late to call it assisted or giving a two-man rebound to one guy and not the other. Still, wins are wins, especially at this point as the season winds down and we come closer to the playoffs. Then again, this game might say more about the front-runner than it does about Dev, who was, after all, amongst the bottom quarter of the league in five categories this week. And still only a 5-3 victory for Snap Jelly? Is this a sign of weakness by the Soldiers? Time will tell.
The Browless Wonders 4 (fg%/reb/ast/blk)
Dominique Moceanu 4 (ft%/3pm/pts/stl)
You can't be proud of winning blocks with eight, and yet I'm somehow sure that Will is. The highest field goal percentage in this match-up came from a guard (Chris Paul), which might be explained by the fact that both teams were disgustingly three-happy. That's right, this was a contest of chuckers, and just like a real game where the teams are content to stay outside and hurl deep bombs, nothing particularly exciting happened. Billy should probably be embarrassed that he only split the game after Will had two players drop 0-fers on the week, but having discussed his feelings for his team with him at length over the past week, I'm fairly confident that he's happy to get any wins at all. Shouldn't be too much more of that with Amar'e out. Sorry man, I'm a dick.
Fire Al Groh 6 (3pm/pts/reb/ast/stl/blk)
Black Prezodents 2 (fg%/ft%)
Ugh. I feel like a Black Ice-type team winning nothing but percentages, but with Kill Whitey nipping at my heels for that final playoff position, it'll have to do. Not a single volume stat win is lame, but the Prezbos did lose our key player, Danny Granger, this week, and still finished within a handful of rebounds and assists, so I'm somewhat proud. Then again, Granger is as big a chucker as anyone on the last two teams, so his presence would almost certainly have destroyed that thousandth-of-a-point lead in field goal percentage and brought me right back to 6-2 or worse. I'm trying to find something to get excited about and failing here... Hold me, Lamar... It's so cold... So cold.
Here's the Best and Worst from Week 17:
Field Goal Percentage: Screen Team .525, Fear the Turtle .430
Free Throw Percentage: Great Oden's Raven .853, Fire Al Groh .699
Three-Pointers Made: Great Oden's Raven 56, Professor Dribbles 14
Points: Great Oden's Raven 617, Black Ice 320
Rebounds: Fire Al Groh 199, Working's for Suckers 130
Assists: Great Oden's Raven 135, Black Ice 55
Steals: Fire Al Groh 42, Kill Whitey 18
Blocks: Fire Al Groh 36, Dominique Moceanu 4
And finally, the match-ups for Week 18:
Black Prezodents (6th) vs. Black Ice (12th)
The Browless Wonders (3rd) vs. Fire Al Groh (2nd)
Fear the Turtle (8th) vs. Dominique Moceanu (10th)
Professor Dribbles (9th) vs. Snap Jelly Soldiers (1st)
Kill Whitey (7th) vs. Working's for Suckers (11th)
Great Oden's Raven (5th) vs. Screen Team (4th) - Is this an RGR-game? I can't remember.
Good luck to all this week, except for Reeves, who totally rested his hand against the glass in the Great Hand-Raising Contest of '98. Fancy fucking ketchup, man.
Cluj Marketplace / This Week in League Pass
Each Sunday, I'll highlight some of the league's transactions and look forward to the coming week's NBA schedule.
This week's NBA trade deadline ignited some trade spirit in our own league, but like the Tyson Chandler-to-OKC trade, the big trade this week was scuttled by a failed physical. Dominique Moceanu and the Black Prezodents had agreed to terms on a trade sending Amar'e Stoudemire and Jeff Green to Brooklyn in exchange for franchise faces Rasheed Wallace and Baron Davis, as well as disappointing rookie Michael Beasley. Black Prez team trainers, however, identified a sleepy eye on Stoudemire and called off the deal. In reality, I wasn't sure how to deal with this situation, since we had already agreed on the deal, but the two-day voting period hadn't elapsed. I attempted to talk it over with Billy this weekend, but he would not hear a word of it and insisted on retaining the injured Stoudemire. I salute him for his honorable nature, and thank him for leaving only one crippled superstar (Danny Granger) on my roster and not two.
Even with the trade negated, it was still an incredibly active week on the waiver wire, somewhat owing to all the changing depth charts league-wide thanks to injuries and the trade deadline. Will Shoaf dropped Juan Jose Barea, or possibly Jose Juan Barea, but either way an utterly worthless player, to pick up Kelenna Azubuike, who is also worthless. He then turned him around for Marquis Daniels, who is also pretty worthless, but may have some value in the wake of injuries to Granger and Mike Dunleavy, Jr. Dunleavy, by the way, was dropped for Erick Dampier, who can't really be fantasy-worthy, can he? Probably the biggest pick-up for Will this week was Rafer Alston, who I'm pretty surprised was a free agent, and should rack up the assists throwing it in to Dwight Howard or kicking it out to the Magic's shooters.
Fear the Turtle proclaimed their Terrapin loyalty by picking up Chris Wilcox, and although he didn't know that's where he was headed at the time, Dev may find himself happy that Wilcox landed in New York with Mike D'Antoni.
Dominique Moceanu said farewell to the injured Andrew Bogut and said hello to Fred Jones, who I hope is doing nothing special with the Clippers as that would probably mean something bad about my Clippers boys B Diddy and Gordybear.
I had picked up Matt Barnes a few weeks ago in the assumption of an increased role once Amar'e got traded, but when all the (reality) trade rumors around Stoudemire died down, I dropped him in a drug-induced fancy of picking up Anthony Randolph. I quickly turned Randolph into Von Wafer, calling him up from the BP's D-League squad under the assumption that he'd have a big role once again with the trading of Skip to My Lou and the injury to Tracy McGrady. Bardois, meanwhile, had the same thought as I did in relation to Barnes, except this time in the case of injury rather than trade, and dumped the disappointing Monta Ellis for him. He also definitively answered last week's question of how patient he'd be on Luke Ridnour: not very. He dropped him for the timeless suckitude of Larry Hughes.
Dekker dropped one white guy to pick up another white guy. And then he dropped another white guy to pick up Chris Kaman, who's coming back in a couple weeks and can, at full strength, be beastly. Do I think he'll be at full strength? No. Do I think he'll be motivated to play for an awful Clippers team? No. Am I thinking of picking up Rudy Fernandez, who was one of the players Dekker dropped, so that I can have a Blazer on my squad, even though he's not exactly Black? Yes.
Bernier never makes any fucking moves. Can you believe it? He's obviously into the league, but he hates doing free agents. Weird.
Black Ice made some fucking moves! Of course, he dropped players that should have been dropped months ago, including one (the afore-mentioned Kaman) that, at this point, he probably should have held onto. But since he picked up BPC candidate Javale McGee, I'll let him slide.
That was a lot of moves. I'm exhausted, but I'll soldier on and pick the League Pass games of the week:
Monday: Celtics vs. Nuggets. RondOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Bardey, I love you for showing me this:
Tuesday: Mavericks vs. Spurs. I pretty much hate the Texas teams, and never watch them. But when they play each other, I get a little interested for some reason. And I've barely watched the Mavs at all this year. I don't even know what they look like.
Wednesday: Hawks vs. Nuggets. Two Nuggest games in the first three days of the week! They might be making the return to the Top 5 that Dekker so desires.
Thursday: Suns vs. Lakers. Only two games on, and only one on after I get home from book club. I really gotta quit this book club.
Friday: Bobcats vs. Warriors. Should be a fun game. Plus I'm going to the Virginia Wine Expo with my mom (Christmas present) so it's got to be a late game.
Saturday: Thunder vs. Grizzlies. Hmmm.... Interesting.
Sunday: Cavs vs. Hawks. Would love to see the Hawks make a statement on national TV. It's not gonna happen, but I'd love it to.
This week's NBA trade deadline ignited some trade spirit in our own league, but like the Tyson Chandler-to-OKC trade, the big trade this week was scuttled by a failed physical. Dominique Moceanu and the Black Prezodents had agreed to terms on a trade sending Amar'e Stoudemire and Jeff Green to Brooklyn in exchange for franchise faces Rasheed Wallace and Baron Davis, as well as disappointing rookie Michael Beasley. Black Prez team trainers, however, identified a sleepy eye on Stoudemire and called off the deal. In reality, I wasn't sure how to deal with this situation, since we had already agreed on the deal, but the two-day voting period hadn't elapsed. I attempted to talk it over with Billy this weekend, but he would not hear a word of it and insisted on retaining the injured Stoudemire. I salute him for his honorable nature, and thank him for leaving only one crippled superstar (Danny Granger) on my roster and not two.
Even with the trade negated, it was still an incredibly active week on the waiver wire, somewhat owing to all the changing depth charts league-wide thanks to injuries and the trade deadline. Will Shoaf dropped Juan Jose Barea, or possibly Jose Juan Barea, but either way an utterly worthless player, to pick up Kelenna Azubuike, who is also worthless. He then turned him around for Marquis Daniels, who is also pretty worthless, but may have some value in the wake of injuries to Granger and Mike Dunleavy, Jr. Dunleavy, by the way, was dropped for Erick Dampier, who can't really be fantasy-worthy, can he? Probably the biggest pick-up for Will this week was Rafer Alston, who I'm pretty surprised was a free agent, and should rack up the assists throwing it in to Dwight Howard or kicking it out to the Magic's shooters.
Fear the Turtle proclaimed their Terrapin loyalty by picking up Chris Wilcox, and although he didn't know that's where he was headed at the time, Dev may find himself happy that Wilcox landed in New York with Mike D'Antoni.
Dominique Moceanu said farewell to the injured Andrew Bogut and said hello to Fred Jones, who I hope is doing nothing special with the Clippers as that would probably mean something bad about my Clippers boys B Diddy and Gordybear.
I had picked up Matt Barnes a few weeks ago in the assumption of an increased role once Amar'e got traded, but when all the (reality) trade rumors around Stoudemire died down, I dropped him in a drug-induced fancy of picking up Anthony Randolph. I quickly turned Randolph into Von Wafer, calling him up from the BP's D-League squad under the assumption that he'd have a big role once again with the trading of Skip to My Lou and the injury to Tracy McGrady. Bardois, meanwhile, had the same thought as I did in relation to Barnes, except this time in the case of injury rather than trade, and dumped the disappointing Monta Ellis for him. He also definitively answered last week's question of how patient he'd be on Luke Ridnour: not very. He dropped him for the timeless suckitude of Larry Hughes.
Dekker dropped one white guy to pick up another white guy. And then he dropped another white guy to pick up Chris Kaman, who's coming back in a couple weeks and can, at full strength, be beastly. Do I think he'll be at full strength? No. Do I think he'll be motivated to play for an awful Clippers team? No. Am I thinking of picking up Rudy Fernandez, who was one of the players Dekker dropped, so that I can have a Blazer on my squad, even though he's not exactly Black? Yes.
Bernier never makes any fucking moves. Can you believe it? He's obviously into the league, but he hates doing free agents. Weird.
Black Ice made some fucking moves! Of course, he dropped players that should have been dropped months ago, including one (the afore-mentioned Kaman) that, at this point, he probably should have held onto. But since he picked up BPC candidate Javale McGee, I'll let him slide.
That was a lot of moves. I'm exhausted, but I'll soldier on and pick the League Pass games of the week:
Monday: Celtics vs. Nuggets. RondOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Bardey, I love you for showing me this:
Tuesday: Mavericks vs. Spurs. I pretty much hate the Texas teams, and never watch them. But when they play each other, I get a little interested for some reason. And I've barely watched the Mavs at all this year. I don't even know what they look like.
Wednesday: Hawks vs. Nuggets. Two Nuggest games in the first three days of the week! They might be making the return to the Top 5 that Dekker so desires.
Thursday: Suns vs. Lakers. Only two games on, and only one on after I get home from book club. I really gotta quit this book club.
Friday: Bobcats vs. Warriors. Should be a fun game. Plus I'm going to the Virginia Wine Expo with my mom (Christmas present) so it's got to be a late game.
Saturday: Thunder vs. Grizzlies. Hmmm.... Interesting.
Sunday: Cavs vs. Hawks. Would love to see the Hawks make a statement on national TV. It's not gonna happen, but I'd love it to.
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