Charts & Figgers

The Cluj regular season has come to an end, and I'm sure all our attention is turned to the fantasy playoffs and the reality March Madness. But there is still a bit of unfinished business to attend to before we leave the regular season behind: I speak, of course, of Octuplets. When last we checked in, LeBron James held a slight lead over Kevin Durant for the title of the league's best Octupler, but he also had a slight games advantage. Would Durant use those extra games to close the gap? Would LeBron continue the torrid pace he set in February? The answer can only come... after the jump.



You made it. Alright without further ado, here are the top ten Octuplers of Cluj '09-'10:

1) Kevin Durant, Black Prezodents - 21
2) LeBron James, Unfrozen Caveman Bogut - 19
3) Danny Granger, WWTMD - 12
4) Andre Iguodala, Call em Bullets - 11
5) Rudy Gay, 10
6) Gerald Wallace, Naoh's Ark - 9
   Dirk Nowitzki, Cowboys - 9
   Manu Ginobili, Noah's Ark - 9
9) Kobe Bryant, Bronxville BitchSmackers - 8
   Dwyane Wade, Call em Bullets - 8

That's right. Not only did KD catch up to Bron-Bron, but he surpassed him, just as he soon will as the best player in the league. Durant was helped by an insane stretch in late February where he Octupled in five out of six games, including (obviously, if you can do math) a back-to-back-to-back stretch on February 24th, 26th and 28th. Fuck yeah. Also rising significantly was Danny Granger, who Shoaf pointed out last time might be able to contend for the lead if he ever had a fully healthy season. Since the last update, though, Granger posted four octos to Andre Iguodala's one. Iggy could use the excuse of playing on a shitty team, but... Granger plays for the Pacers. So.
Also taking a giant step up the rankings is Rudy Gay, who was not even on our list a month ago and finishes in fifth thanks to four octos in the month of March alone (that month isn't even over yet!). If we keep tallying throughout the playoffs, he might just take out James and Durant. Considering that Durant is #1 and Gay #5, you probably won't be surprised by the team results. But I'll show them to you anyway just so that you know how bad you all suck compared to me:

1) Black Prezodents - 44
2) Unfrozen Caveman Bogut - 37
   WWTMD - 37
4) Noah's Ark - 36
5) Call em Bullets - 35
6) Corn Rows n Tats - 28
7) Teen Wolf - 25
   Cowboys - 25
   Power Bottom & Jelly - 25
10) Bronxville BitchSmackers - 17

While my dominance speaks for itself, I think the most interesting thing here is the tie between the Austinites, because it reflects their team philosophies. Beb relied on a solid core of players, most specifically LeBron, and as a result gained plenty of success and plenty of Octuplets, but only from a handful of players (6 different Octuplers). Will had no such cornerstone, and instead scrapped and scrounged for whatever talent he could find. While he didn't have quite the regular season success that Beb had, he still made the playoffs and has a pretty decent shot at beating me this week. His style may be detestable, but it's gotten the job done in wins and octuplets, even if it took him 16 guys to do so. (Interesting: of Will's 16 Octuplers, 10 are no longer on his roster.)

So congratulations to Kevin Durant and the Black Prezodents, who he led to the Octo title (if not the league championship - there's still time). In light of this, and the fact that he does not yet have a satisfactory nickname (I've been trying out Durantula, and it never feels exactly right), I henceforth dub him...
Doctor Octuplet

[that picture of Marvel comics supervillain Dr. Octupus, was gonna have Durant's head Photoshopped in, but my Photoshop isn't working right and I just want to publish this. You can imagine how great that would look though, right?]